A New 'Do

I never imagined it would happen this way...

It started with a Barbie doll, when I saw the crazy new hair-do on the doll in Molly's room, I knew it was only a matter of time before Molly herself got a new hair cut. What I didn't see coming was that it was my sweet little AVA who was going to be the "hairstylist"!!!! Here are the pics (we ended up going to Fantastic Sam's to try to save what we could)...

this is actually the good side!!!
from the front, at first glance, it looked like Ava did a pretty good job!
she is very happy with her lop-sided bob!
Ava likes it too, and says she will NEVER do that again!

Who Are We Trying To Save?

I have been trying to get my life in order this past week...I just feel like I am losing touch with what is important to me. I am guilty of letting the daily grind over shadow the big picture...I have forgotten to look at life from an eternal view. So this past week I wrote down the changes I want to make so that my priorities can once again be my priorities. One of those changes is that I need to make a better effort to get my family in Church consistently. We need to be involved in a Christian community. I had attended a great church a couple of months ago, and yesterday I thought I would bring the girls there again. That is a big piece of what I want for my girls...a church home...a place that they can grow and nurture their faith...a place that they will feel comfortable opening up to when they feel like they cannot talk to me (<-- I hope that doesn't happen, but I know that it will one day). So, we pull into the church parking lot, and there is a small group of women holding up signs quoting biblical verses. I didn't really think much of it...I wondered if the ladies attended the church, but that was it. Inside I was shocked to hear what was going on...the church wants to build a youth center and extend their parking lot around the side of the building, but apparently that would infringe on a PRAIRIE DOG colony! I couldn't believe it! How much sense does that make? Save the prairie dogs at the cost of not being able to save our children? I am sorry, but when Ava and Molly are pre-teens...I want them to have a place to go where they can express themselves and have some Christian guidance! I know that wildlife is important...my husband works very hard as a natural resource specialist...but where were these people when their own homes were being built? Prairie dogs are NOT endangered, but their natural predators are pretty sparse. If we allow the colony numbers to get so high, that's when we have problems with the plague. Nobody wants that. The problem is that nobody wants MORE prairie dogs, so the church cannot relocate the pups. The next most humane thing to do, would be to "relocate" them to the black footed ferret program. The black footed ferret IS endangered...and they are picky eaters, they only eat prairie dogs. So, I am all for saving our future generations, and if I was asked to be an activist for a rodent, I would at least pick one that is in danger of extinction. Sorry to the prairie dogs, I do think that they are cute, but I think we are called to teach the Word to our children.
When we walked out of church yesterday, I got a better look at their signs. They were calling me a murderer. They were saying that I don't obey the ten commandments. My heart was broken for a minute until I remembered my priorities...My God and My Family. Not prairie dogs.

Pictures from the park

Reading Braydin's 4H book
say cheese!
The Girlz
Chrissy and Braydin
Debbie and Braydin

A Special Day at the Park

What a fun day this was! Last week I took Ava and Molly up to the mountains for a week (just the girls!), and we ended up connecting with Debbie and Braydin! And here I am today...a week later...and I am still overcome with joy and pride over the young lady Braydin has become! She was so happy...so healthy...so so so sweet! It was so good to see her and Deb, they really are a BIG part of my life. It is hard for me to admit, but seeing them really healed something in me that I hadn't realized was still aching....I know God has carried me thru all of this, but I am still human, still a girl, still a mother...I do carry some pain from the whole experience. It is hard to put into words...I don't want to make it sound like I have regrets...that's not it...it is more that there are still pieces of a broken heart to pick up. I am so thankful that they continue to include me in their lives!

A Special Birthday

Nine years....WOW! I remember the day of her birth like it was yesterday. My OB had decided to induce labor, to make it easier for everyone to attend the birth (after all, my birthing coach and "special teams" HAD to make it here from Glenwood Springs!). I remember having to go to the hospital the night before the scheduled birth day...I was nervous that the hospital would feel especially cold to me considering the circumstances...so I went to TJ Maxx to purchase some new socks. I walked into the store thinking, "This will be our last shopping trip together..." I wiped the tears from my eyes and reminded myself that this little girl was going to have a life like I would never be able to give her on my own....that was all I could give to her. I love her that much. The lady who rang me up at the register said the usual, "Oh my...when are you due?!?" as she glanced down to my huge belly. I got some strange satisfaction telling her I was on my way to the hospital now, like maybe it was a scene out of a movie where as she asked me, my water broke or something dramatic like that.

But no...no real excitement...just a long, quiet drive to the hospital. My mom drove me. We checked in like I was checking into a hotel. That lady was very nice, I liked that she spoke to me like I was going to be a mom. She was the only one in the whole hospital who didn't know our story...again it made me feel like I was living someone elses life. I wanted to be someone else, for the first time in a long time I felt like I couldn't do this...that I wasn't strong enough to willingly give my love, my hopes, my everything away.

When I got to the labor and delivery room, the nurse hooked me up to all the monitors. It was then that I realized how scared I really was...I was going to have a baby! I remember praying for emotional strength and physical strength...surely it was from God that I survived that day at all!

I didn't sleep much that night...I talked to the baby, cried, and prayed almost the whole night.

The next morning, when I saw Kirk and Debbie, all of my pain was gone. I felt such peace when they walked in that door...God had healed my heart that fast. Debbie handed me some hair ties, chapstick, and a picture frame she picked out at the hospital gift shop. I handed her a wrapped children's Bible, with a picture of me and a letter to Braydin inside. I could tell that they had not slept too well the night before either. I thought how their lives were going to change. I thought about how well I had cared for their baby while God had entrusted her to me for the past 10 months. I couldn't help but smile with the most sincere joy that I had ever felt!

Soon enough it was "go" time. With Kirk, Debbie and my Mom holding my hands and legs...and God holding my heart...that sweet baby girl was born into the most loving family I had ever met. That was the greatest birthday present I had ever given or received. I love to "revisit" that day in my memory... especially today. Happy Birthday, Braydin...I love you so much!

I can't wait to see you all next weekend!

Family Portrait

This past week we had the opportunity to have our family picture taken by an amazing photographer! I have not seen the pictures yet...but I have no doubt that they will be brilliant. We chose to all wear white...the girls in dresses and E and I in white shirts/jeans...I can't wait to see how they turned out! I have seen this studios work before and I am so happy that we get to remember our family just how we are now...blessed, loved, happy. These are some of the pictures that I took while they were setting up. I will let you know how they turn out!

let me fill you in....

Sorry for the time lapse....we have been a busy family! Nothing major (I wish I could tell you we have been vacationing...) just life gets in the way sometimes. The girls are doing so great! They are so excited to go swimming this summer...I hope we will do that soon! Here are some pics of our busy days as of late!