Pieces of Me

I was browsing thru some older photos and came across this one from my baptism last year (in October). Wow...to remember what it took to get me to that day almost makes me cry! I have recently made a friend who accepted Christ as a young child, and- like many friends I know- she feels like she has maybe missed out on having a "story". Well, to her and others like her I would like to say "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29). I am (unfortunately) much like Thomas, and couldn't believe until I saw Christ for myself. I am truly thankful that I am saved, but I admit that I wish I had just believed as you did! The Beginning of my journey to Christ warms my heart as it reminds me that He is a great pursuer! I remember feeling like my life was over, I had been raked thru the coals one too many times. I was at work unwrapping Christmas ornaments thinking about ending it all, when I came across a golden feather ornament with a poem attached. I read the poem and wept...I mean a really soul wrenching cry for help! The poem basically said that this was a feather from a guardian angel that fell out in his struggles to protect you. I was sad that God didn't care enough about me to send an angel to protect me. Protect me from the pervert up the street when I was five, or protect me in my own home, or from the multitude of injustices I felt I had endured. Why didn't God care for me? That night I went to a party to drink the pain away, but before I took that first drink of the night, I felt an urge to just go home. I opened the apartment door, and a pure white feather landed at my feet. I didn't know what to believe, but I went home feeling like maybe I did matter. I still kick myself for not letting this story be my testimony!