Update on Ava...

Okay, she is so phony bologna! Yesterday she really made a big deal when I was dropping her off at daycare...tears, quivering chin...the works! So today while we were driving to "school" I asked her why she was so sad yesterday. "I want you to stay with me at school" she replied. "Oh. Well, I can't. I have to go to work Honey."
"Oh."
"Okay? So no fussing today..."
"Okay." I took her to her class, she started to ask for more hugs and kisses, and then she stopped herself and smiled, "Oh, I forgot. Sorry 'bout that!" and ran off to play!
Little Stinker!

Is This a Phase?

Ava...what am I going to do with you?!? She laughs every time I say that, but I am not always joking! I want to be the best mom that I can be, I want my girls to love to be with me and be confident without me, and sometimes I think we are close to that goal. And then the great back-slide....now Ava lingers a little closer when I drop her off at daycare. I walk her to her class, I kiss her head, then she grabs my leg, "Mommy I need a hug"..."...a kiss..." "...give me another hug..." This could go on forever if I don't sort of scoot her into her classroom! I originally thought this was just a production more for my benefit than hers, but one of her teachers told me that after I left yesterday, Ava cried for the first time in class! She has been at the same daycare for almost a year now...I don't really know what is going on.
It doesn't stop there, at church now she wants to come with me to "mommy's class" and not go to Sunday school. She doesn't even want to go to grandma's house if I am not going to stay with her! Ava...what am I going to do with you?!?

To My Children

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your faces and laugh when I feel like crying. Just for this morning, I will let you girls choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is. Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you two to the park to play. Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the back yard and blow bubbles...Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by. Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me make cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them. Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy all four of us a Happy Meal so you can each have two toys!

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you the stories of when you were each born and how much I love you both. Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry. Just for this evening, I will let you girls stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars. Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours and miss my favorite TV shows. Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me such wonderful blessings.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer helplessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you two goodnight, I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then that I will thank God for you, and ask Him for nothing, except one more day.....

I received this in a forwarded email, and thought I would put it in here because tomorrow is my dear friends birthday. He was killed in the Columbine shooting. I miss you John.