A New 'Do

I never imagined it would happen this way...

It started with a Barbie doll, when I saw the crazy new hair-do on the doll in Molly's room, I knew it was only a matter of time before Molly herself got a new hair cut. What I didn't see coming was that it was my sweet little AVA who was going to be the "hairstylist"!!!! Here are the pics (we ended up going to Fantastic Sam's to try to save what we could)...

this is actually the good side!!!
from the front, at first glance, it looked like Ava did a pretty good job!
she is very happy with her lop-sided bob!
Ava likes it too, and says she will NEVER do that again!

Who Are We Trying To Save?

I have been trying to get my life in order this past week...I just feel like I am losing touch with what is important to me. I am guilty of letting the daily grind over shadow the big picture...I have forgotten to look at life from an eternal view. So this past week I wrote down the changes I want to make so that my priorities can once again be my priorities. One of those changes is that I need to make a better effort to get my family in Church consistently. We need to be involved in a Christian community. I had attended a great church a couple of months ago, and yesterday I thought I would bring the girls there again. That is a big piece of what I want for my girls...a church home...a place that they can grow and nurture their faith...a place that they will feel comfortable opening up to when they feel like they cannot talk to me (<-- I hope that doesn't happen, but I know that it will one day). So, we pull into the church parking lot, and there is a small group of women holding up signs quoting biblical verses. I didn't really think much of it...I wondered if the ladies attended the church, but that was it. Inside I was shocked to hear what was going on...the church wants to build a youth center and extend their parking lot around the side of the building, but apparently that would infringe on a PRAIRIE DOG colony! I couldn't believe it! How much sense does that make? Save the prairie dogs at the cost of not being able to save our children? I am sorry, but when Ava and Molly are pre-teens...I want them to have a place to go where they can express themselves and have some Christian guidance! I know that wildlife is important...my husband works very hard as a natural resource specialist...but where were these people when their own homes were being built? Prairie dogs are NOT endangered, but their natural predators are pretty sparse. If we allow the colony numbers to get so high, that's when we have problems with the plague. Nobody wants that. The problem is that nobody wants MORE prairie dogs, so the church cannot relocate the pups. The next most humane thing to do, would be to "relocate" them to the black footed ferret program. The black footed ferret IS endangered...and they are picky eaters, they only eat prairie dogs. So, I am all for saving our future generations, and if I was asked to be an activist for a rodent, I would at least pick one that is in danger of extinction. Sorry to the prairie dogs, I do think that they are cute, but I think we are called to teach the Word to our children.
When we walked out of church yesterday, I got a better look at their signs. They were calling me a murderer. They were saying that I don't obey the ten commandments. My heart was broken for a minute until I remembered my priorities...My God and My Family. Not prairie dogs.

Pictures from the park

Reading Braydin's 4H book
say cheese!
The Girlz
Chrissy and Braydin
Debbie and Braydin

A Special Day at the Park

What a fun day this was! Last week I took Ava and Molly up to the mountains for a week (just the girls!), and we ended up connecting with Debbie and Braydin! And here I am today...a week later...and I am still overcome with joy and pride over the young lady Braydin has become! She was so happy...so healthy...so so so sweet! It was so good to see her and Deb, they really are a BIG part of my life. It is hard for me to admit, but seeing them really healed something in me that I hadn't realized was still aching....I know God has carried me thru all of this, but I am still human, still a girl, still a mother...I do carry some pain from the whole experience. It is hard to put into words...I don't want to make it sound like I have regrets...that's not it...it is more that there are still pieces of a broken heart to pick up. I am so thankful that they continue to include me in their lives!

A Special Birthday

Nine years....WOW! I remember the day of her birth like it was yesterday. My OB had decided to induce labor, to make it easier for everyone to attend the birth (after all, my birthing coach and "special teams" HAD to make it here from Glenwood Springs!). I remember having to go to the hospital the night before the scheduled birth day...I was nervous that the hospital would feel especially cold to me considering the circumstances...so I went to TJ Maxx to purchase some new socks. I walked into the store thinking, "This will be our last shopping trip together..." I wiped the tears from my eyes and reminded myself that this little girl was going to have a life like I would never be able to give her on my own....that was all I could give to her. I love her that much. The lady who rang me up at the register said the usual, "Oh my...when are you due?!?" as she glanced down to my huge belly. I got some strange satisfaction telling her I was on my way to the hospital now, like maybe it was a scene out of a movie where as she asked me, my water broke or something dramatic like that.

But no...no real excitement...just a long, quiet drive to the hospital. My mom drove me. We checked in like I was checking into a hotel. That lady was very nice, I liked that she spoke to me like I was going to be a mom. She was the only one in the whole hospital who didn't know our story...again it made me feel like I was living someone elses life. I wanted to be someone else, for the first time in a long time I felt like I couldn't do this...that I wasn't strong enough to willingly give my love, my hopes, my everything away.

When I got to the labor and delivery room, the nurse hooked me up to all the monitors. It was then that I realized how scared I really was...I was going to have a baby! I remember praying for emotional strength and physical strength...surely it was from God that I survived that day at all!

I didn't sleep much that night...I talked to the baby, cried, and prayed almost the whole night.

The next morning, when I saw Kirk and Debbie, all of my pain was gone. I felt such peace when they walked in that door...God had healed my heart that fast. Debbie handed me some hair ties, chapstick, and a picture frame she picked out at the hospital gift shop. I handed her a wrapped children's Bible, with a picture of me and a letter to Braydin inside. I could tell that they had not slept too well the night before either. I thought how their lives were going to change. I thought about how well I had cared for their baby while God had entrusted her to me for the past 10 months. I couldn't help but smile with the most sincere joy that I had ever felt!

Soon enough it was "go" time. With Kirk, Debbie and my Mom holding my hands and legs...and God holding my heart...that sweet baby girl was born into the most loving family I had ever met. That was the greatest birthday present I had ever given or received. I love to "revisit" that day in my memory... especially today. Happy Birthday, Braydin...I love you so much!

I can't wait to see you all next weekend!

Family Portrait

This past week we had the opportunity to have our family picture taken by an amazing photographer! I have not seen the pictures yet...but I have no doubt that they will be brilliant. We chose to all wear white...the girls in dresses and E and I in white shirts/jeans...I can't wait to see how they turned out! I have seen this studios work before and I am so happy that we get to remember our family just how we are now...blessed, loved, happy. These are some of the pictures that I took while they were setting up. I will let you know how they turn out!

let me fill you in....

Sorry for the time lapse....we have been a busy family! Nothing major (I wish I could tell you we have been vacationing...) just life gets in the way sometimes. The girls are doing so great! They are so excited to go swimming this summer...I hope we will do that soon! Here are some pics of our busy days as of late!

He is Risen!

We had a wonderful Easter, and I hope you all did, too! Our family went to church with E's parents...the service was wonderful and the handful of people that I had met there before went on and on about how amazing our wedding was (I must admit it was a great wedding)! The message was shocking, but very convicting...it was good. After that we spent the rest of the day with Erik's entire family. It's always good to see everyone.

That night when I was tucking sweet Ava into bed, she asked me to read her a bedtime story. We chose to read about when Peter jumped out of the boat when he saw Jesus on the shore. After the story I asked Ava why she thought Peter was so excited...Ava responded, "Because Jesus is risen!" I love her. Sometimes in the chaos of special holidays, I feel like I am missing the point, I tend to focus on the wrong things. I mean, I appreciate Easter for what it truly is...but I couldn't focus on that very well. I am so humbled by my family, everyday they are here to remind me of all of the gifts God has given me, and the sacrifices He made so I can enjoy them forever.

Molly See's Stars

Last night was probably the scariest night so far in my career as a mom...Erik and I were in the living room waiting for a friend to come pick E up for the Nuggets game when we heard a "thud" and than screaming. I have never heard Molly scream like that before! Erik ran down the stairs to check on her. I waited a few seconds, and when it was quiet I went down to see what had happened. I walked in on a very frightening sight...Molly was in Erik's arms, her eyes were rolling back in her head, she was struggling to hold her head up, and then her eyes closed and her head fell back into Erik's hand! I checked her head for a bump...nothing. She was only out for a second, and we asked Ava what had happened. She said Molly was trying to stand on the ball and fell into the dresser, and hit her eye. Erik called his cousin (who is a PA) and she walked us through what to look for. After sitting on the bed for just a minute, Molly was walking a talking as usual. we checked her eyes with a flashlight, they constricted the same. I thought for sure she would have a black eye today, nope. You would never know anything had happened. But if I never see a child pass out again, it will be too soon!

Picture Day!

Molly-Moo Turns Two!

I can't believe my baby is two years old! I remind myself daily of what Ava was doing when she was this age...and I know I shouldn't compare my girls, but more I am comparing my choices as a mother! For instance, when Ava was 18 months old, I stopped carrying her around. She walked to the car (holding my hand of course!), and she climbed into her car seat. I was pregnant with Molly at the time, so lifting Ava did not seem like something I should be doing. Well, there's really no reason to stop carrying Molly, so here she is...a toddler...and her main mode of transportation is in my arms! I try to stop, but we have to keep up with Ava! By two years of age, Ava was sitting at the table with us for dinner (in a regular chair), but I still put Molly in the high chair. I can see how the youngest child is kept "the baby" in so many families! But, in my defense, Molly is in her big girl bed, and she is sitting on the toilet (just sitting...and wiping...no actual reason for being there!). Anyway, I will post some party pictures later...

Quick Update

Real quick....so far so good....14 lbs. down! Still not ready for a photo...but I will post one after 20 lbs! Thanks for the encouragement!

Prima Ballerina

Ava's 4th birthday party!

Keep Going!

Okay, a little slower this week...but hey, I hit the 10# mark! I have officially lost 10 lbs., and today was also the first day that I heard those cherished words, "You look great...have you lost weight?"! That is what keeps me going!
I also wanted to mention to you all that I have just started listening to "The Bible" on CD. I love it! It is 80 CD's long, but it is a totally different experience to have someone else read it to you! I am addicted...I can't wait to drive to work (45 min.) so I can hear it! This is silly, but I am even starting to dream in the same tone that the Bible is read...the last two nights the people I dream about speak very clear, and repeat themselves often (i.e..."Go and fetch some water" She went to fetch water and the man asked "why have you come to fetch water?" "I have come to fetch water because my husband said to me, 'Go and fetch some water'"). I think it is great that the Bible is so clear and that God has made his word understandable to anyone who will listen to it!
I toured a preschool for Ava...it seems wonderful, but I am sure we will be put on the waiting list. I will check out a different school Friday. I know that wherever she ends up, she will do just fine...she is an amazing little girl!

Preschool...Help!

Yes, the time is upon us...time to pick where to register Ava for Preschool! I guess up until today I just assumed we would enroll her in the private school near my job. It is so close, I can see it from my office window! My boss' kids go there, and I have done a dental presentation at the school as well...I really like the school! It is reasonably priced...but preschool is only a half day 2-3 days a week. So, not only would we be paying for that, but daycare for the rest of the time as well. This school offers a 2 year old class as well, but today I learned that they are cutting that class for next year (this fall). So, Molly will still be at a different daycare. I will check out the public school near my house (they offer preschool), but it still doesn't solve the problem of half days, 2-3 days a week! What are my options?!? Is there a logical way to be a working Mom and send your child to preschool?
*I have lost 8 lbs. on the diet so far! Thanks for all of your encouragement!

Diet Update

Today was my last day of my 3 day cleansing, and I lost a total of 6 lbs. I am thrilled with that, but I also know that most of that was water weight, and I am only beginning to lose fat weight....and that doesn't come off so fast. My goal is 3 lbs a week, but I will not be disappointed with 2...or 1...as long as I am losing I will consider it a good week!

Big Loser

As many of you know, in 2006 I lost 90 lbs. As many of you also know, in 2007 I put some of that back on! Since so many of my friends and family wanted to know how the diet was going last time around, I have decided to blog my progress this time (it never hurts to have some accountability!) I do not really want to take a picture of myself right now, so you can scroll down to the post about our Christmas and refer to that embarrassing photo for the "before" picture! I do not want to admit what I weigh, so I will just say that I am wearing my "fat jeans" every day and they are a size 12. Today was the first day of my diet, and I dropped 2 pounds! Way to go, me!